


Dukken af dine drømmer

by horrorriz



Category: Gotham (TV), The Melancholy Fantastic (2016)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bullying, Corpses, Crossover, Doll come to life, Doll in the Dark, Ed in pre season 1, Fluff and Angst, Funeral Home, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mother's Doll - Freeform, The Melancholy Fantastic, dead bodies, living doll, taking a bath together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-08-20 19:21:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16561775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horrorriz/pseuds/horrorriz
Summary: Edward Nygma had always been alone, never had a real friendship in all his life.Realizing he would never be able to get one, he decides to make himself a friend, giving a personality to a life size old doll.What he had not expected, was that the doll would come to life, and offer a friendship beyond his wildest dreams.There was just one problem. To anyone but Ed, the doll looked like the haunted cracked old doll he in reality was.





	1. Do-it-yourself friend

**Author's Note:**

> !!!!!!!TRIGGER WARNINGS***********TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!!!!
> 
> Physical abuse, bullying, mentions of child abuse, general bad mental health and homophobic language and actions.  
> Also slight warning for vomit in this chapter.
> 
> If you are sensitive, this fic might not be for you. If you are uncertain about the content, feel free to contact me in comments or (insanekingy @ tumblr) and I will give you a summary of the bad stuff and what to skip.
> 
> ****
> 
> This is a bit of a crazy cross over au between the movie The Melancholy Fantastic where Robin Lord Taylor play the character Dukken, heavily implied of having been a doll all along. So I had the crazy idéa of easing Ed from Gotham's loneliness with making himself a... Friend.  
> The story takes place pre season 1 of Gotham, where Ed is studying at the Gotham U to be a forensics scientist. 
> 
> Despite the trigger warnings it is not all bad, a bit of hurt/comfort, but I prefer tagging warnings to be on the safe side.
> 
> Happy reading!

Edward had always been alone. Well, that wasn’t exactly true, there had been people around him, but no one had really actually been there. Not for him.

He was invisible, in a way. Except all the times he wasn’t, the times they would tease him, mock him or hit him. Even his parents. How his very own family who were supposed to keep him safe, did not care when he came home with bruises, they only added to them.

Enough was enough, if no one would tend to his loneliness, he would take the matter into his own hands, literary. He would make himself a friend. Someone who could never turn him down, someone who could never hurt him, someone who would always be on his side.

A real friend, just for him.

  
  
Not feeling he had the natural creativity to create something from scratch, Ed decided to acquire an older doll he had been able to find at one of the many odd antique shops lurking in sketchy corners of Gotham.  
It was cracked and old, the white enamel had started to flake, and the paint of his eyes had been worn away. So the first he did was to ever so carefully cut out the shape of the eyes and place two glass eyes that had been in his collection of oddities for a long time. Originally meant as decorative replacements of someone missing both his eye globes, it was the perfect size for the life size doll.

He touched up the paint a bit around the eyes but accidentally added too much black, after some consideration, he added even more. In movies the goth’s and nerds always seemed to get along as good friends, right? Perhaps he needed one of his own.

 

Slowly a very distinct character started to build on the old doll.

Ed got him some simple jeans, t-shirt with a hoodie and light jacket, all in black. The jacket had been decorated with a few pins, adding to the make believe personality he had given the doll.

For each detail he added, it was like another piece of life was blown into him. It was easy to imagine those kind but sadly empty eyes looking back to him, listening for hours at an end while Ed poured his heart out, things he had never told anyone.

  


He watched his work with pride, smiling by the sight of his new friend. He wasn’t perfect, but he would always be there for Ed, always someone to talk to that would listen to whatever and never let him down or invalidate his feelings. He might even… The thought made Ed feel a bit guilty, and a light blush colored his cheeks. But he might even be able to keep him company in bed on those oh so very lonely nights. The weight of another body close to him would certainly do wonders to his sleep, even if he wouldn’t have the warm and soft feeling of a real human body. It would certainly be more than he had ever had before.

 

However any further fantasies about such would need to wait until after work the following morning.

Not accustomed to using those long legs of his a lot else than moving between classes, to then suddenly running around the city all day to collect parts for his friend had completely drained his energy.

With a yawn Ed leaned in to give the doll a kiss on his forehead, deciding he needed to start getting ready for bed.

 

Before he put the lights out, he gave it one last glance followed by a content smile.

 

“Goodnight my friend, may you never leave me like all others do. For I think my heart couldn’t take another crack, even if you have many. I will lend you my broken love, grant all the affection no one else have ever wanted, to shine some light on you, and loneliness will never haunt us again.”

  


***

  


The next day felt like the longest in Ed’s entire life. Well no that was a lie, he had had many of those and they were far more painful.

This was different, it felt… Exciting. He couldn’t wait to get home to his new friend and tell him all about his, not very eventful day. Apart from the usual gang that liked to torment his life. But even they couldn’t completely ruin his mood this day, something they had very obviously noticed, and planned to change his mind about.

  


They walked in on him at his usual spot in the library, catching him staring blankly into the nearest bookshelf, lost in daydreams about getting home to his new friend. For once wearing a smile of anticipation instead of his usual uneasy expression.

There was five of them, hardly fair but was it ever?

 

“What’s with the big grin Eddie? Did someone finally answer one of your stupid riddles?”  
One of the boys scoffed and the others followed, like a bunch of hyenas collectively mocking him.

 

“Let’s see if you can answer this one; What’s black and blue and whimpers like the faggot he really is.” The same guy continued and stepped closer, invading Ed’s personal space.

 

Ed didn’t have time to argue before a solid fist met with his face, right into his eye. Temporary blinded by the rough punch he fell to the floor, covering his hurt eye with his hand, trying to regain balance and get back up. However he wasn’t allowed such luck and before he knew his jaw cracked when a shoe kicked him, throwing him back onto the floor. Next hit by one of the others hit his stomach, bruising his ribs badly. This had Ed curl up and cling to his legs, instinctively attempting to make his tall frame as small as possible to protect himself. He groaned in pain.

 

The hyenas laughed again and a foot was placed on Ed’s head, pressing him down into he hard floor.

“It’s you, Eddie. Finally a look that matches your wimpy inside.”

 

With that last comment they let him go and he could hear the satisfied scoffing slowly dying off in the distance.

  


For a long while Ed just laid there, curled up into the same fetal position as he had been when they finally left him.

They had got their will through, and his smile was gone, but not his hope, not this time. This time was different from all the other times he had been left beaten or bleeding, hurting and filled with self loathing for the failure he was, and would always be. The freak no one wanted. Until now, there was someone waiting for him at home that would patiently listen to how they had hurt him, how worthless their excuse of a riddle was and how he wished he could have taken his pen and pushed it deep into their eye socket in revenge.

With that motivation, he scrambled onto wobbly tangy legs and staggered a few steps until his balance once again wailed, needing to catch himself onto a nearby chair.

 

He had just half a term left then he was out of this place forever, along with the hateful staff and students whose sole purpose in life seemed to be to torment him. He would quit his job and apply for his dream job as a forensic scientist, where he could finally help to take out all the vile personalities of this forsaken city.

  


Ed examined his injuries and it seemed like he was in luck for the most part, and he had got away without any broken ribs. It was a wonder his jaw had not been dislocated, but it was a close call.

Getting home wouldn’t be too much of an issue right now, but the bruises blossoming up would make the following day rather sore. Nothing he had not been able to handle before though.

 

He imagined his friend before him, really pushed forward the mental imagine that he could in fact throw himself into the arms of someone made out of real flesh and blood to find comfort in.

Even if it was only a mere fantasy, it was comforting, and he’d take anything to help him get through this right now.

  


***

  


Ed didn’t know what he had expected of his new friend, someone to talk to, at most. But certainly not this.

Perhaps that wasn’t entirely true, he did admit part of him had wished for someone real, someone who could smile and answer him back. That could hold him and dry his tears.  
Why wish for something that would never come true?

 

Yet as he had entered his front door that evening, after a gruesome walk home from the university, he had expected to find his doll as still and lifeless as he had left him.

The sight that welcomed him was far from that imagine, and Ed was almost sure he was dreaming. Wondering if he was still laying on the floor of the library, floating in a vivid dream to drown the reality of his miserable life.

 

On the old wooden massage table Ed kept as his kitchen island, sat a man, dangling his legs like a bored child.

What had previously been just a shabby looking doll was now a gorgeous looking man not much older than Ed. With dull blonde hair in a short and messy cut, making him look as deliberate disheveled as he looked stunning. He wore the same clothes Ed had carefully dressed the doll in earlier.  
But the topping of the dessert that was this artwork, surely had to be how the smudged dark makeup circled his dazzling blue grey eyes, the pale shade of his eyes and skin in contrast to the dark was almost hauntingly beautiful.

 

His daydreams were shattered, or perhaps confirmed when the doll… Or more exactly, the man he now was replaced with, turned to look at him. And what’s more, it spoke!

 

“Why are you looking at me like I just stepped out of a personal fantasy of yours?” He narrowed his eyes in gleeful sneer.

 

At first Ed did not realize the doll… He meant the man! Was addressing him. Too busy trying to grasp the whole situation, make sense out of the warped reality before him. The fact that he also spoke should not surprise Nygma, but naturally, it did. The voice was soft, breaking at times but nevertheless as dreamy as the rest of him.

 

“Are you gonna answer me or just leave me here hanging? Ed?”

 

“Y-you know my name?”

 

“Well hello? We’ve been friends since sixth grade, remember? Then you had the nerve to be all smart and attend college and now university, leaving poor untalented me behind.”

 

Yes, the simple explanation he had given to his story of how they knew each other, how they were already close friends. So he could avoid the awkward stage of becoming such, because that was something he had been unable to do real life. Wouldn’t surprise him if he would fail with an imagine friend as well.

 

“You’re have plenty of talent!” Ed bursted out, surprised to see himself get affected by a mere figment of his imagination, but how could he resist? With how perfectly real he seemed?

 

“Oh yeah? Name one.”

The doll raised one eyebrow and jumped down to circle Ed, slightly hunched and eyes piercing, almost sparkling.

 

“You… You have a wonderful laugh!”

 

The comment awakened that very laugh, rumbling in the fantasy man’s chest.

“That is hardly a talent! But thank you, you’re always so kind Ed.”

He shrugged and proceed to walk around to the couch placed in the middle of the loft, to slouch down into it, sitting down wide and comfortable like he had sitting at that exact spot a hundred times before.

 

“No worries--...” Ed was going to address him, but realized in the heat of everything and the hardly elaborate backstory, he had forgotten to name him. He had to think fast not to make it seem weird, to keep the illusion that he was real alive. If not else, for his own sake.

Ed looked over the man, looking for answers when he saw the small pin of a Danish flag decorating his jacket and his mind started spinning from there… So he’s Danish… What was a typical Scandinavian name, what could possibly fit a doll like him… Doll… Dukken?

Danish for doll, not the best he could do but, in the very limited time frame it wasn’t too bad. It had a nice ring to it, and he doubted anyone than him would make the connection in a language few knew around here.

 

“No worries Dukken.” He finally continued.

 

The man smiled warmly, like that had always been his name. Not just something made up in a hurry in the last minute.

Dukken tapped empty space of the couch beside him, implying Ed to come sit down.

 

Suddenly it felt like the room was closing in on Edward, like it was spinning and he was losing his footing, staggering a few steps before catching himself with his hands on the back of the couch.  
His was mouth dry and he felt a little bit like he was going to be sick.

It was all fine just a minute ago, what was happening? It had felt so natural, the way he talked to him, the way he looked…

 

Dukken stood up with wide eyes, studying Ed with worry.

“Ed! Are you ok? You… Don’t look very well.”

 

“I am fine.” He stated before turning to the side and throwing up the his earlier lunch on the floor, lucky to have had time to turn away from the couch.

Obviously, he wasn’t, but he really didn’t know why not. His new friend was a doll, so what. And he was alive and talking… This was Gotham after all, stranger things had happened.

 

Ed sank down with his back against the couch and leaned his head back, closing his eyes in an attempt to shift the nausea.

He could hear Dukken walking around, a slight breeze blowing onto Ed as he passed by. There was some rustling and metallic sounds coming from the kitchen but Ed couldn’t bother to open his eyes just yet, still fighting the urge of another vomit attack.

 

After several more moments of Dukken walking back and worth, obviously doing something and running water in the sink. Most likely cleaning up the stain Ed had embarrassingly left.  
Ed could feel a gentle tap on his shoulder. Slowly he opened his eyes, squinting at the bright light while his pupils got used to the change. He found Dukken crouching in front of him, wearing a vague smile with some hidden concern behind his eyes.

 

“Better?”

 

When only a few broken whispers came out as Ed tried to speak, he closed his eyes once again, took a deep breath before clearing his throat and looking back into those pale eyes of the man before him.

“Much, thank you.”

 

Dukken’s smile grew wider and more genuine when the worry washed away, and he proceeded to sit down beside Ed.  
“Do you feel like sharing what suddenly made you so upset? Or was it just a random cause of simple nausea?”

 

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about, really. Might have just been that I forgot to eat a lot yesterday.

It was a rather… Eventful day.” He flushed, thinking back on it.

 

“Was it?”

 

The blush spread as Edward ran the day over in his mind. Normally he would have just gone straight home and study ahead as he had already finished his papers and assignments. He was probably a year ahead in the subjects by now which meant when new homework were presented, it did not take long to finish what he already knew and had practiced on.

 

That day he had been all over the city. After finding the first initial parts of the doll itself, the personality already imbedded into his pale frame, had spawned so many new ideas, and sparked inspiration to do something creative for once. Use his great mind to make something that was a byproduct of himself rather than repeating other’s ideas.

 

“A good one, though. I might say.”

 

“Maybe it’s time I let you head to bed, it’s getting late and you’re not feeling your best… You have work tomorrow, right?”

The doll stood to offer Ed his hand, that unlike what it should logically look like, was very convincingly made out of real, living flesh, decorated with black painted nails. With some uncertainty Ed took his hand and allowed himself helped back up on his feet and led to his bed.

 

By now, Ed shouldn’t have been surprised that Dukken seemed to know things he had not been told, but he was. Edward needed to remember that all he knew, the doll, only being a product of his lonely mind warped into this vivid hallucination, was also aware of.

 

After Dukken had respectfully turned away to allow Ed undress and change into his usual checker pyjamas, Ed found himself allowing the strange and familiar man all at the same time, carefully tuck him down into bed.

He brushed Ed’s hair out of the way, removed his glasses and before Nygma’s lids fell shut, finally defeated by the exhaustion. The blurry outline of a smile and feeling of a hand pressing around his, was the last he saw until a deep, blissful sleep found him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok if you've been enjoying this wild ride of an AU so far, please consider giving kudos, comment and bookmark! 
> 
> I am still uncertain this is a story anyone even want, certainly haven't asked for, and I admit my confidence about my stories isn't the greatest.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.


	2. Smudged impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed and Dukken get accustomed to their new shared life together, Ed still struggling to wrap his mind around the whole situation, and how Dukken seem to have gained a personality of his own. Outside the fantasy he had created around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take notice of added tags.

Waking up that morning had been quite something else, Ed had sat up in bed only to have his glasses handed to him. He was met with a kind smile and a good morning, followed with a steaming cup of coffée.

At first Ed thought he was still dreaming, but when Dukken’s gasp and trembling hands found his face to examine the discolored skin around his eye, the reality of the previous day came flashing back to him, the bad and the wonderful. Dukken was real, and what was more he was here, looking at Ed like his well being meant the world to him. Someone that cared about Edward!

 

Getting to work after that awakening proved more difficult than expected, and not because of Ed’s still sore body. But that both men felt some uneasy reluctance to part ways and be separated for the durance of the day.

Dukken’s worry about Ed’s physical state from the incident the previous day did not help either, he was stubborn to advise Ed to take the day off to rest. When his bruises had begin to blossom the following morning, the doll’s concern had grown and awoken some sort of need to care for him.

 

Ed had to use sheer willpower, reminding himself, and Dukken, that bills needed to be paid and the fact that he couldn’t lose this job. It was far too difficult finding a job good enough to afford to live off campus of the university, even harder to find one that would accept Ed’s quirky personality. Mr. Mortensen at the funeral home was honestly the kindest man Ed had met to date, that was, until Dukken entered his life. So it was important for him to make sure he had a job to go to in the future.

 

“It’s only for a few hours.”, Ed reassured Dukken with a hasty smile while he was packing a small bag.

 

“What will I do in the meantime?”

 

“I’m not sure, feel free to make yourself at home. Just… Don’t leave the loft.”

 

“Why not?”, Dukken curiously asked, seated on the bed while he watched Ed get ready.

 

“It… It’s not safe out there, for someone with your looks.”

 

“I thought you liked my style!”, feeling hurt, Dukken jumped up, looking for answers in Ed’s uneasy expression.

 

“I do! I do, Dukken.. It’s just… I don’t want you to get hurt. Gotham have the highest crime rates in the country, as you might be aware of.”

Ed looked down into the floor, embarrassed to be expressing any kind of emotions so freely. It was something he was used to be punishable, and part of him almost expected the pain that usually followed. It didn’t. Instead, he found himself pulled into a soft and warm embrace. Fingers grasping onto the fabric of his coat, clinging onto him like Ed was his lifeline, that it was Dukken who was afraid Ed would get hurt out there. 

That wasn’t supposedly so far from the truth, Ed thought. If something were to happen to Ed, if he would… Die. Dukken would be no more. Did he feel that? Could some part deep down of the doll’s fantasy state understand the fragile truth of it’s existence? Or was he really oblivious to the fact he wasn’t actually alive? 

  
  


***

  
  


Dukken knew that Ed wouldn’t be away for long, and that he had told him to stay at the apartment. 

He just couldn’t help himself, it felt like when Edward wasn’t there, part of him was missing. That he didn’t really exist, didn’t feel fully alive without him. Just a empty shell, waiting for it’s soul to come back to him. A gaping hole in his chest that needed filling before he fell apart. 

 

Surely Ed wouldn’t be too mad about a innocent visit to his work? A familiar face might even brighten his evening a bit.

Also knowing exactly where it was, the way there in the back of his mind so familiar, like he had been there many times before. 

In a way he had, as it was through Ed’s memories and their yet unexplainable psychic connection that allowed him to find the way in the first place.

  
  


***

 

Trying to keep his footsteps light and silent, Dukken sneaked through the backdoor of the funeral home, that was luckily left unlocked. 

 

Finding Ed proved easier than anticipated, as he just located him in the big reception room, doing some last finishing touches on a body for a open casket funeral early the following morning. 

He watched as Ed flattened out wrinkles on the deceased man’s suit, moving his hair to sit just right. Edward Nygma, always the perfectionist.

When Ed moved to look over some papers on the side, Dukken skipped over to where he had been standing. 

Walking around the open casket, he ran his hand over the exquisite wood work. A metallic clink echoing in the room every time one of his rings hit one of the metal details.

“You know, I love things like this. It’s creepy, but kinda cool you know?” He smirked playfully at Ed, tilting his head slightly.

 

“Dukken! You…!” Ed lowered his head and walked over to him with small but rapid steps, whispering once closer to him. “What are you doing here? What if someone sees you!”

 

The man scoffed as a reply. 

“So what? I don’t get why you don’t think I shouldn’t leave the apartment anyway.”

 

“I’ve told you why! Because some might think…”

 

“Think what Ed? That I look strange? What’s that all about anyway? My sense of style really didn't ever do much else than to make me invisible. Why would that suddenly change?”

 

Their conversation were soon interrupted when Ed could hear his superior’s very profound steps close in on his way to the room.

 

“Quickly, you need to hide!”, Ed hushed to Dukken.

 

“I… What--?”, he did not have time to question more than that before Ed had pushed him into the open coffin and closed the lid. 

Right on time too, because the mortician and manager Ed was was working under just entered the room as he turned around. 

 

“Nygma! Good, I was just looking for you. Have you finished with Mr. Richardson for the funeral tomorrow? I’m sorry I had to put you on such a tight schedule with this one, the family had to push forward the date and-...”

 

“It really is perfectly fine Mr. Mortensen. Yes I have completed my work and he is ready to show his face for the world one last time tomorrow morning as planned.”

Mr. Mortensen was the only one who had ever shown some level of kindness towards Edward, he could appreciate his intelligence and sense of details as it was very much needed for this line of work. 

 

“Well then, as that is cleared up I am heading home for the day. Will you be alright closing down on your own?”, the other man asked while fumbling to put on the coat he had been carrying.

 

“Wouldn’t be the first time, I quite like the solitude this at this late hour.”

 

“Enjoying company of the dead? Well then you certainly have chosen the right line of work.  Are you certain that you would not like a full time job here after your studies?”

 

“No, forensics have always been a dream of mine. But thank you for the kind offer.”

 

“I will wish you a goodnight then Mr. Nygma. See you tomorrow.”

 

“Take care Mr. Mortensen”

  
  


As soon as Ed could hear the entrance door close he rushed over to the coffin from earlier and ripped the lid open to free Dukken from his wooden prison.

 

“ARE YOU ACTUALLY INSANE?”, He screamed back at Ed, while throwing himself out of the coffin, falling over the edge and onto the floor with one loud thud.

 

Hurrying to help Dukken back up Ed reached for his arm only to have it thrown aside.

“I-I’m so sorry, I… I was afraid that Mr. Mortensen would…”   
  
“It’s… Can you imagine being locked into a box with a dead person like that? I thought I was going to run out of air, it felt like his hands would come alive to choke me any minute! I was scared Ed…” 

Seated on his knees, Dukken looked at his trembling hands, the rest of his body soon following with the shivers.

 

“Oh… No please Dukken, don’t…”

 

But it was already too late as hot tears trailed down his pale cheeks, coloring them with dark streaks from the makeup staining the liquid. 

He didn’t know if they were friends who cried in front of each other, at this rate it felt like Dukken’s personality was forming faster than he could envision it. Like he was becoming his own person, independent from Ed’s own mind. How was that even possible?

He didn’t know how to react anymore, as he had no idea what to expect from the man who was supposed to be made for him, by his very hands. 

 

Ed fell to his knees in front of the man who had stopped being merely a doll to keep him company long ago, instead being replaced with this eerie man of enchanting mystery. Constantly drawing him in, pushing Ed to and beyond his comfort zones of his previously very secluded life.

With trembling hands he reached out to cradle Dukken’s cheeks, using both thumbs to dry the tears away, but the only thing he accomplished was to smudge the makeup further. 

 

Dukken looked up at Ed, the corners of his mouth twitching a bit, showing hints of a smile. 

“You're messing it up even more.”

 

“Oh! I'm sorry I… Yes. I admit my knowledge about cosmetics appliance is limited.”

 

“I can teach you sometime, if you like.”

He scrambled onto still shaky legs, and glanced over the man in the casket. Trying to comprehend his fear of the previous encounter with the corpse.

“If not else your… Handiwork, could use the practice. This is horrible Ed, he looks dead in this makeup!”

Suddenly his beaming smile was back, scoffing over his own terrible joke and Ed couldn't help than to smile back. Before he knew it, Ed was resting his head on Dukken's shoulder. Well he tried, before realizing the height difference between them made the position very uncomfortable to keep at. 

 

“Should we perhaps head back home?”

Ed moved back to look into those pale eyes of his friend. Struggling to understand how something that came from the depths of his mind could look so soulful, like they carried a lifetime of experiences and emotions. Not just the ones he had provided for the doll.

 

“You don't think it's time for me to find a place of my own? Sorry for crashing on your couch for so long, money have been a bit tight lately…”

 

Another fact to cover up the reality that he did not in fact have a home of his own, he never had, and probably never would.

 

“No, no! It's quite alright. I… Don't mind.

I enjoy the company. My apartment always felt so lonely before you moved in.”

That wasn't a lie, not that he ever lied to Dukken, just… Tweaked the truth a bit. Afraid what would happen if he realized he was just a doll, that once the reality became clear to him. The spell would be broken and he would once again go back to the form of the cracked sculpture he really was.

His apartment had felt awfully empty before he made Dukken, that was the point after all. To find a friend, and he had certainly got more than he could ever wished for.

  
  


***

  
  


Ed closed the door behind him as they entered his one room apartment loft, leaning against the door and watched Dukken head for his usual spot in the couch.

 

“Dukken wait.”, Ed called after him, hurrying to take off his coat and shoes in order to follow him further into the apartment. 

“Let me help you get properly cleaned up.”

Fetching a wetted cloth from the kitchen, Ed continued to clean the smudged makeup from earlier, but frowned when it simply refused to come off.

 

“Ed, stop. It’s fine. I can do it myself, I should probably go and properly clean up anyway.”

Dukken stood and started to move towards the bathroom further into the apartment.

 

“But this is my fault for ruining your lovely look! I wanna help.”, Ed pointed out, following Dukken’s steps.

 

“You can always join me in the bath, but leave the cleaning to me, alright?”, Dukken warned with a smirk.

  
  


Dukken casually discarded his hoodie, quickly followed by his t-shirt, pants and finally his…

Ed looked away, not daring to look as the last piece of clothing covering Dukken was added to the pile resting on the toilet seat of the small bathroom.

 

“What’s the matter Ed? Since when did you get so shy around me? It’s just exposed skin.” Dukken gave him his usual sly grin.

“Here, let me help.”

 

Ed jumped when Dukken suddenly reached out to start to unbutton his shirt, but he did not stop him. He just stood there dumbfounded as he let the other man’s fingers slid under his dress shirt and braced his bare skin.

“This doesn’t… Feel any… Strange, to you. Does it?” Ed felt uneasy asking, but he had to do something to clear the air, or his own thoughts for that matter.

He desperately tried to keep his head high, not daring to look down at Dukken’s completely undressed state.

 

“No, why? This is not the first time we’ve taken a bath together. Why are you acting so weird Ed? Was it something I said?”, Dukken asked with worry in his voice while he put Ed’s shirt away and started freeing him of his trousers next.

 

“N-no! Not at all… I just…”

What could he say? That… No one had ever touched him before.. Not… Like this, fingers on bare skin. It was to say, intimate, for certain. The most surprising thing, however. Was how easy it was, how natural. That’s just because they were such close friends, surely? Or that he knew, despite the very real man that he watched sink down in the bath, wearing… Nothing at all, pale skin almost glowing with it’s flawless hue and texture… Ed wanted to reach out and touch it, feel it against the tip of his fingers…

He snapped back to reality, to his original line of thought. He knew that Dukken wasn’t real, so he had nothing to worry about. This was just a figment of his own imagination after all, a visual representation of the severe lack of touch and nurture he had lacked all his life. What was he to deny himself the reassurement, despite the fact he knew it wasn’t real? It felt real, that was all that mattered right now. 

 

So taking a deep breath, he stepped out of his boxers and sat down opposite of Dukken. Which gained a grin from the other man, pleased Ed had finally collected courage enough to join him.

 

Dukken proceeded to reach for a small towel, dipping it in the water and repeatedly wiping off his makeup until there was only a faint outline in the corners of his eyes left.

“Remind me to tell you to get me some proper makeup remover for later, will you?”

 

“I’ll put it on my shopping list…”, Ed replied with a small voice, still feeling far more exposed than he was comfortable with.

 

The water shifted as Dukken suddenly moved across the bath, placing his hands on either side he leaned over Ed with his entire upper body to establish eye contact, noses almost brushing together with the intimate proximity. 

Ed couldn’t move, and at the same time he felt like all he wanted was to break free of his sudden frozen state and just  _ move closer. _

 

“Have someone ever told you what a fascinating color your eyes are?”, Dukken said, studying said objects with a intrigued look.

 

Ed was still stiff in his stance, trying to hold his breath when he felt Dukken’s leg brace against his own while he leaned forward. A hand was placed on Ed’s face to direct it back and forth, looking deep into his eyes.

“They’re just… Brown.”, Ed managed to breath out while he was studied so close.

 

“No! There’s all sorts of colors here. Different shades of browns coming together in a brilliant deep hue.”

 

Dukken sounded utterly spellbound by such a simple thing as Ed’s, according to himself, most ordinary eyes.

 

“There’s warmth in them, reflecting your sweet personality. I guess the saying that eyes are mirror of our souls have some truth in it. Don’t you agree?” 

 

With those words, Ed focused his gaze into Dukken’s own eyes. Drowning in the shades of green and blue swimming into each other in the most enchanting way. 

He had a point, and what’s more. These eyes… This simple couldn’t be just a figment of his imagination. Just like Dukken had just said, he could see him. He could truly see Dukken, he was real, in some way Ed still struggled to understand. Yet made him so immensely happy, delighted that in the heat of the moment Ed threw his arms around the other man, pressing their bodies even closer together. Ed didn’t even care to be shy anymore, this was what he wanted, to be close to what truly was the most beautiful soul he had ever laid his eyes on. Inside out, and he hoped he never had to let go.   
  


  
***

  
  


Having dried off and redressed in pyjamas, Ed lending Dukken a spare pair of plaid flannels fitting far too loose on the smaller man, they got ready for bed.

 

As Ed curled down under his blanket and comforter adding extra warmth in the old and chilly loft. He looked over to the couch, not quite seeing Dukken for the back of the couch facing him, but he imagined he was shivering under the single crocheted blanket. He could recall from past nights he had fallen asleep in the couch watching a movie and two, how he would always wake up sore after having slept on the far too hard surface. He couldn’t let his friend and guest sleep there another night.

“Dukken?”, Ed called out. “Are you asleep?”

 

“We only just laid down a minute ago, so no. I’m not asleep. Is there something wrong?”

 

“I… No. Well, yes. That couch, it’s awfully hard to sleep on, cold too. Perhaps you’d… If it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable, naturally… Share the bed with me? It’s bigger than it appear and I don’t take up much room.” 

Ed fiddled with his hand under the blankets, trying to keep them warm, and his mind occupied from what might have been the most awkward thing he had ever asked someone.

 

“It’s fine, really.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Unless you… Want me to?”, Dukken teased.

 

“I… It’s just so cold. I worry about you, Dukken.”

Hearing the worn wooden floor creak under light footsteps, Ed sensed Dukken get up and move to the bed, soon lifting up the covers and shuffling in close to Ed.  _ So close!  _

He was a little bit chilly, as anticipated, how thoughtless of Ed to not have offered this earlier. To be fair, he didn’t have a lot of guests, no one, actually. Just so used to his own habits that he struggled to accustom himself to the fact he was now sharing his life with someone, living with another…

  
With that thought reassuring him, calming him along with the man beside him getting increasingly warmer, heating up Ed and the tiny space under their shared blankets in return. He fell asleep in peace, the second day of his life he had been able to feel content, safe. All because of the man, who was in fact just a doll. Only he was so much more, and Ed had this strange feeling there was even something more to it as well.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update! I wasn't sure anyone was actually even into this story, and I've been working on a lot of projects lately.  
> I apologize for this chapter being somewhat repetitive, and hope you enjoyed it anyway.
> 
> As always I enjoy kudos, comments, bookmarks and subscriptions <3 Thank you for reading.


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